Why CrossFit is like Marriage Counseling. Marriage counseling is not traditional “talk therapy”. Marriage counseling is designed to teach two people how to offer the best version of themselves to one another. The strongest marriages, are formed by people who are secure in their own identity. When you like who you are as a person, you don’t bring a bunch of emotional baggage into the relationship. Offering up the best version of yourself, day after day isn’t easy folks. It takes commitment, focus on the goal (a strong team) and a true desire to want only the best for your partner. May seem stupid but CrossFit is a bit like this.
I see couples begin CrossFit and their relationships take on a whole new dimension. You’re thinking sure, it gives them a fresh conversation and yes, this is a part of it but there is so much more going on. Many times women lack empowerment. They feel inundated with family responsibility and lost in the shuffle. As a Mom it’s easy AND socially admirable to “lose yourself” to the job of being a “wife and mom” but it isn’t really healthy for our psyche in the long run.
You bring a woman who’s never participated in rigorous exercise into a CrossFit class, and odds are, she’s gonna think “I gotta get outta here, this shit is nuts!” But, if she hangs in for a few classes and gets a heavy weight in her hands, feels the rush of lifting that? Well, then you’ve got her hooked. Lifting heavy weights and making it through a difficult wod affords a women a sense of empowerment. Suddenly, this Mom is standing a little straighter and walking with a bounce in her step because she’s realizing, she’s still got it. When all those squats begin to lift that booty and tone that stomach? Watch out hubby’s cause the wife is feeling sexy and that can only be good for you guys!
Now let’s bring the husband into the equation. In a desire to “keep it real” I’m gonna say, way too many couples don’t put enough effort into their physicality. What attracted you two to each other in the beginning, over the years morphs into pot bellies and sweatpants. I’m not talking about the natural progression of aging, because there is nothing more beautiful than growing old together. I am talking about…letting it go folks. We, are all visual creatures and making an effort for our spouses is important!
So now hubby joins CrossFit and struggles, sweats and is dying but he usually doesn’t want to quit like his wife. He thinks “wow I suck, I need to do this more”. This thinking is proof that, Women are from Venus and Men ARE from Mars people!
So man and wife are now WOD’ing (cool term for workout of the day) together and hubby, for possibly the first time is seeing his wife kick ass. His chest puffs up a little and he feels pretty proud and when she starts to flag, he is encouraging her to keep going. They are working together as a team. When it’s over? They are animatedly talking about how they both accomplished living through the wod from hell. Most wod’s get the moniker…WOD from HELL.
Lot’s of talk about sore butts, tiger balm and figuring out how to get the kids to soccer when they can barely move. Sounds terrible right? Nope, it has become the high point of these couples day. They now have a shared challenge. They now, have something besides the kids to talk about and commiserate over. As each person in the relationship becomes stronger as an individual, it empowers them as a couple. Next thing, they are running Spartan Races and venturing out into other challenges. They are having date night more often because they feel great in that new dress, or that shirt their gut used to hang over their pants in.
It is a fact, that people who exercise and live a healthy lifestyle are happier. All those endorphins running around are making you feel awesome. When you feel awesome? Well? Happy wife…happy life! No one cares as much if the hubby is happy…sorry boys, but I haven’t found a cool plaque with a saying for you guys out there in the gift shops yet!
So here are these two people, feeling and looking better than they have in years…hanging out with? You guessed it. Other couples that feel and look better than they have in years. CrossFit is very social and community based. Community support is awesome for a marriage. At our box, SC CROSSFIT 165 we have many couples who love to workout together.
The McManus’ love to CrossFit, train for tri’s and boat with other members in the summer all while looking great in their swimwear. Dan Feliz tells us all the time how CrossFit helped his marriage (I’m pretty sure Mary finds this a dramatic statement) but it definitely got them to reconnect and both him and his wife Mary look great. The Millers are “all in”. Gina is an avid cook and is whipping up Paleo delights left and right for lucky Vin. They’ve both lost weight, toned up and are looking pretty awesome in their street clothes. The Giordanos are our newlyweds and they are keeping it tight. Then we have the Lagans and the Teslers, two couples that have made major changes in their lifestyles and are loving doing it together. These couples all love to cheer each other on. I wish I could list all our couples because we actually have a lot, but this would bore you and I believe my point is made.
Marriage Counseling: Psychotherapy designed to help couples strengthen their relationship by rebuilding communication and effectively overcoming conflict by adapting and optimizing their ability to function as a team.
CrossFit: Functional fitness designed to elicit as broad an adaptational response as possible. CrossFit is not a specialized fitness program but a deliberate attempt to optimize physical competence in all ten recognized fitness domains.
Hmm…pretty alike right?
Being able to overcome, adapt and gain competence is truly the key to success in all areas of life.